Letting Go of Expectations: How Surrendering to Life’s Flow Brings Inner Peace

What if you let go of how things should be and just let things be as they are? Maybe you’ll find peace with that. Can you surrender to that? Can you let go of control?

Have you ever been driving and found yourself reflecting on life—your finances, career, relationships, health—and you’re surprised by where you’re at? You thought you’d be further along. Maybe you imagined that by 30 you'd have a certain income, a house, marriage, kids, a full life plan.

And then reality hits. You realize you're not where you thought you'd be. You wonder: am I on the wrong path? Did I miss a sign? Did I mess up?

If you’ve ever felt like you're behind or failing in life, you’re not alone. That’s what we’re talking about today on the Phoenix Rising Podcast: are you on the right path, and should you really be further along than you are?

Life Isn’t Linear

We often think success follows a straight line, but life is not linear. In reality, it's full of ups, downs, twists, and resets. Society teaches us a rigid path: go to school, pick a career, settle down, and achieve milestones by a certain age. But life doesn’t work like that.

We need more conversations about how nonlinear life truly is. If we normalized the chaos, maybe more people would stop comparing themselves to others and trust their own journey.

You can live multiple lives in one lifetime. Reinventing yourself, growing, and taking new paths is part of what it means to truly live. Give yourself grace, flexibility, and space to evolve.

Internal Conflict and Comparison

Physically, we accept that our bodies evolve. But we don’t always give our minds and hearts the same room to grow. We're taught to choose a path early and stick to it forever—even when it no longer fits.

This creates internal conflict. We compare our reality to an internal vision of how life was “supposed” to be, and when the two don't match, we suffer.

My Personal Story

In my mid-20s, I was ambitious and had big dreams. I thought I’d be a millionaire, own properties, be married, and have it all figured out by 30. But when 30 came, everything fell apart. Relationships, friendships, finances—it all unraveled.

This wasn’t failure. It was a necessary disruption. I was evolving, and life was clearing out what no longer aligned. But I resisted it. I fought the change. I clung to how things were supposed to be. That only caused more pain.

Acceptance and Surrender

We often don’t have as much control as we think we do. There’s a balance between participating in life and surrendering to what we can’t change.

Last year, I had contracts in place, financial plans mapped out—and people vanished. I lost thousands of dollars. I was doing everything “right,” but things still fell apart.

I could’ve stayed angry and obsessed over it. And for a moment, I did. But eventually, I had to accept reality: these situations were out of my control.

Moving Forward

There are two paths you can take when life doesn’t go as planned:

1. Fight reality, hold on to what was supposed to be, and stay stuck in frustration.

2. Accept what is, process your emotions, and then move forward.

Fighting will drain you. Acceptance sets you free. You might feel anger or sadness—honor that—but don’t stay there. The present moment is where life is happening.

The Root of Suffering

Most of our suffering comes from believing things should be different than they are. What if you let go of the “shoulds”? What if you surrendered your expectations?

Letting go of control isn’t weakness. It’s wisdom.

Life Is Generous—If You’re Present

The universe is generous, always offering opportunities—but we’re often too distracted to notice. We're living in the past or clinging to a future that doesn't exist yet.

If something didn’t work out—a relationship, a dream job, a financial plan—maybe it wasn’t meant for the person you're becoming.

Step Back, Don’t React

When life hits hard, pause. Don’t react. Step back. Observe. Ground yourself. Breathe. Reactivity makes you a victim to circumstances. Conscious awareness gives you your power back.

You can be honest: “This sucks.” But then ask, “What can I do about it now?”

The Universe Has Its Own Plan

You can have the best plan, and life might still throw a curveball. Sometimes it’s like giving your order to the universe, and instead of your filet mignon, it sends you an ice cream cone. It's not what you asked for—but maybe it’s exactly what you needed.

Astrology and Timing

I’ve been exploring astrology—not as superstition, but as a lens to understand timing and cycles. Some people find success early; others find it later. Some paths aren’t meant to open until certain seasons of your life. That doesn’t mean you’re behind.

Be Present and Reinvent

If you’re stuck thinking about how things “should” be, let go—even for a minute. Breathe. Feel your feet on the ground. Look at the sky, a tree, a bird. That’s life.

You’re not meant to cling to one version of yourself forever. Reinvent your life as many times as you need. Accept where you are, take action, and co-create with the universe.

Accept the Truth

Maybe the relationship ended. The job didn’t work out. The dream changed. Okay—now what?

What do you want now? Who do you want to become next? What action can you take today?

Final Thoughts

This is your life. Right now. Not someday. Not when things look a certain way. Right now—this is it.

Let go of the idea of a perfect destination. Life is not a checklist. It's not a straight path. It’s a dance of participation and surrender.

So, breathe. Be present. And start showing up to your life.

Ashley Drummonds